


Apocalypse || Phan

by HelloAnonymousWriter



Series: Phan One Shots [28]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, BAMF!Phil, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Zombies, angsty!dan, attempted suicide?, dan has a girlfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 12:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13524660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloAnonymousWriter/pseuds/HelloAnonymousWriter
Summary: Phil, Dan and his girlfriend try to survive a virus (zombie) outbreak.





	Apocalypse || Phan

**Author's Note:**

> Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/144451675-phan-one-shots-~-apocalypse  
> Tumblr: http://helloanonymouswriter.tumblr.com/post/137835781929/apocalypse-phan

~Phil~

THUMP THUMP THUMP!

My heart was beating wildly in my chest and my blood was pumping fiercely through my veins. My breathing was ragged and I could feel the stitch forming in my side. I turned round for a split second to see them. My eyes widened and I turned back when I saw they were gaining.

"THERE!" Alys exclaimed, pointing to a railway line. She and Dan picked up the pace. Dan was somehow the fastest out of the three of us and dragged Alys, his girlfriend, behind him as we sped towards the track. Even under the circumstances, I felt a stroke of jealousy. I had liked Dan for ages - way before the apocalypse started and seeing him happy with someone else always killed me inside a little bit each time but I stayed because he's my best friend too.

I suppressed my feelings and tried to keep up although my legs were killing me and my side was aching. Then I heard it - a ding in the distance. I looked towards the sound and my eyes widened when I saw a fully functioning train heading in the direction of the track we were approaching.

Fear hit me when I realised we'd need to make it across before the train arrived or the zombie's would catch up and attack us. "DAN!" I shouted.

"WHAT?" He called back in frustration as he kept a steady pace.

"THE TRAIN!" I warned and he frowned before turning and looking further down the track. His eyes widened and he sped up even more whilst I tried to speed up as well.

"HURRY!" Dan yelled desperately, approaching the track. The train was fast approaching.

"We're not going to make it!" I thought as the train was only seconds away. Desperately, I tried to catch up but my breath hitched in fear when I saw Dan and Alys leap over the track and to the other side. I went to follow them but suddenly my vision was blocked.

I skidded to a halt as the train was now passing in front of me. I breathed heavily and stared at the passing carriages in disbelief. "I didn't make it." I thought in terror and turned back to see the corpses gaining on me.

"PHIL!" I heard someone shriek over the noise of the train.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

~Dan~

I gripped Alys's hand tight as we leaped over the track. Relief spread through me once our feet hit the ground. I grinned and let out a happy breath and turned round. What I saw next made my blood run cold. In the split second I turned around I saw the terrified look on his face then suddenly I couldn't see him any more.

I felt panic rise in me when my sight of Phil was blocked by train carriages. He hadn't made it. "PHIL!" I screamed hysterically as tears leaked and fell down my cheeks. My best friend ...

"PHIL!" I screamed again, seeing him through the cracks of individual carriages as the zombies approached him.

"Dan! There's nothing we can do, we need to go!" Alys begged even though tears were also streaming down her cheeks.

"I CAN'T LEAVE PHIL!" I cried and stared at the train hopelessly, they would get him and I could do nothing.

I looked through the next crack and my heart skipped a beat. He wasn't there and the corpses were groaning, banging and scratching at the train. I let out a choked sob, I couldn't see him any more - they must have got him. I felt like breaking down and curling into a ball. My best friend - the one who picked me up when I felt down and the first one who made me feel special was gone.

"DAN PLEASE!" Alys begged and I could already hear the groaning and gargling of nearby corpses. "I know it's tough, but you need to pull yourself together for just a little bit longer. I'm sorry but Phil's GONE!" She begged through tears. Her words struck hard and I looked at her terrified face which was stained with tears. She was right.

I sniffed and tried everything I could to suppress the shock and took in a shaky breath before taking her hand again. I took a miserable glance back at the train before whimpering and moving forward.

~6 Months Later~

I clutched the hammer tight in my hand, tears streaming down my face. Alys stared at me ... but it wasn't her. A crazed look had taken expression on her face and her eyes had a white glaze over them. A painful groan escaped her lips and she bared her teeth.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I shakily lifted the hammer. Her eyes darted to my hand before she charged at me, screaming. I whimpered before harshly swinging the hammer and catching her in the side of the head.

There was a sickening crack as the metal connected with her skull and caved in, leaving her unable to continue. I stared in trauma as my girlfriend dropped to the ground lifelessly - hammer sticking out the side of her head. I slapped a hand over my mouth. I should have realized when she started acting weird the past couple of days and kept telling me she loved me.

She had been bitten ... and I killed her.

I was hurting so much. I had lost the most important people in my life thanks to the stupid outbreak and I was on the verge of insanity. I had nothing left to lose and I felt so empty. 

With tears still leaking from my eyes, I knelt down and pried the hammer out the side of her head. I took one last look at her before wiping my eyes and trying to focus. I needed to get out of there. We had taken refuge in an abandoned building to raid for food but it was getting dark. I could already hear the groaning zombies only floors bellow. I needed to get to the countryside where it would be safer. 

I ran over to the stairs and looked down, there were only three of them down three flights but there could be more hiding in rooms. I took a deep breath - it was my only escape and I needed to find a way through the last bits of the city or even a safer building. I swallowed, clutching my hammer in one hand and a small handgun with three bullets in the other. A steel pipe was strapped to my belt as well as various kitchen knives I had picked up from houses for protection. I even grabbed Alys' gun before setting off. I had a backpack on with a short amount of food supplies and even water. 

I breathed out heavily before making a break for it. I ran down the first flight, smashing the first zombie's head in on the way. I made it to the top of the second flight and saw the second zombie run towards me with another which had been hiding in the room and used the same hammer to smash in the side of its head whilst kicking the other down the stairs. I tried to pry my hammer out of the second zombie's head but it wouldn't budge and the other one was getting ready to attack again - as well as the zombie one flight down which was making its way up. 

I gave up on the hammer and took out my largest kitchen knife, stabbing it straight through the forehead then pulling it out again. I turned to the one which had reached the top of the stairs and used the knife to slice its throat then kicked it down the stairs, watching the head smash against the wall on its own accord. I released a breath before running down the last flight, stepping over the last zombie and peaking out into the street. 

It was pretty empty apart from a few corpses down the road which was in a different direction to the one I wanted to go in. I started to make my way down the round, keeping my steps light. I just needed to find a safe house in the country side before trying to get help. I had recovered a radio on one of our raids and Alys and I had been calling for help every morning and every night.

I turned the corner and nearly shrieked when I saw a whole group of them standing together. Unfortunately the wind wasn't on my side and they caught my scent very quickly, whipping their heads in my direction. "Oh fuck." I muttered and made a break for it. I bolted down the street, avoiding crashed cars and tipped bins, frantically trying to shake off the hoard of bodies behind me.

I turned corner after corner. I turned one last corner, only to skid to a halt in horror. There was no-where to run. The street I was going to run down had a group of zombies lounging around. However, the peace was soon disrupted when their heads snapped towards the commotion - towards me. They let out screams and growls and started to run towards me. 

This was it.

I was going to die. I had no one left. Phil was gone. Alys was gone. I didn't know where my family was and everyone else in the world had turned into zombies. What else did I have to live for? I let out a whimper and stood still, accepting my fate. There was no running from this one. I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes. I lifted my handgun to my head and pressed the barrel against my temple. Even if I'm giving up - I don't want to become one of those things!

I clenched my jaw, ready to pull the trigger. My finger was about to put pressure when suddenly my arm was grabbed and I let out a scream - thinking the zombies had gotten to me first and I took too long. So, I was thoroughly confused when someone pulled my down a side alley with two others who looked and acted a lot like humans. "Snap out of it dude! You need to run before those fuckers gain on us! COME ON!" A man who looked to be in his early thirties exclaimed. 

My eyes widened in disbelief but I followed his advice and started to run with them, which resulted in him letting go of my arm. My breathing was quick and my brain still hadn't really caught up with the situation. I frowned - I was ready to die ... and then I was safe. I looked to the other three people. One was a female who looked to be in her late thirties and a boy who looked around my age - maybe a little older. 

"Who are you?" I asked, frowning. 

"Look kid, it's probably a better idea if you ask us questions later. Save your breath." He huffed, pointing his gun and taking out a zombie. I frowned when the gun hardly made a sound. He saw my confusion and rolled his eyes. "Later." He said pointedly, looking me straight in the eyes. I swallowed and nodded. I followed them through back alleys and down numerous streets until we were away from the crazed hoard on the outskirts of the city. 

We made it into a neighbourhood which looked pretty deserted. There weren't even any zombies lingering about. I also noticed the other three relax a little as we entered the area - I assumed it was a clear zone. I felt myself tense muscles relax a little at the thought of being even a tiny bit safer. "Alright, just up ahead." The man from before instructed, still keeping his gun cocked in case of unexpected danger. 

After another ten minute walk I stared in shock. Ahead of us seemed to be a large barbed wire fence and wall. That's when I realized it used to be a prison. I frowned and glanced at the others who looked happy to see it - I assumed it must be their base. The thought of going inside creeped me out, but not as much as not going inside. I followed them to the front gate when the woman pulled a radio out of her pocket and pressed the button.

"Hey, team 12 reporting, we're at the front gate. We have secured raid items and a survivor, it's nearly sun down so can you please open the front." She spoke firmly through the crackling static. There was a quick 'roger that' over the radio before the gates began to creak and slowly open. 

"Team 12? How many teams are there?" I thought in confusion. "If they had a radio, why didn't they hear the message I sent off this morning?" I frowned when I felt my own radio sitting in my back pocket.

Once we were inside and the gates squeaked closed, the man - who I assumed was the leader, turned to me with a sigh. "Alright, my name is Max. This is JJ and Saskia." He explained, motioning to the boy and the woman who smiled. "What's your name kid?" He asked, taking his gloves off and brushing his hands down as we walked towards the building. 

"Dan." I spoke timidly.

"Nice to meet you son - it's not often we find survivors." He smiled and offered his hand which I shook firmly. "Of course you're going to need a check up for bites and shit. If you have any you should probably tell us now before we give you any more information." He warned, his expression going serious.

"I haven't been bitten - I swear." I tried to ensure him. 

He relaxed a little and smiled. "You look like a nice kid, so I'm sure you're telling the truth. We just have to double check - there's a lot of people's lives at stake here!" He explained and continued to walk, with me at his heels. 

"There is?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Yeah, there's about 160 people in this building which is about the same as a small high school." He shrugged. "We pick up survivors and try help others survive, if anyone comes into the area or even some of the surrounding cities - we know. We send out teams every day to recover essentials and survivors." I nodded, taking in all the information.

"What about the prison? Are there any inmates with you?" I asked, scared of the answer.

"No, there was this whole thing when the apocalypse broke out. This place pretty much had its own war when the inmates broke free and the virus spread. Some inmates killed the corpses that were in the building and took over but a group of people - the founders of this group drove them out. Some of the guards who used to work in the prison are here though. They tend to help with keeping everything in order and making sure every one get's what they need. We try not to be selfish but of course there's the old rule breaker here and there that need being put back in place. If you steal any of the little food we have you get locked up in one of the cells for a week with no food or company. It's a way of trying to make sure we can all live together fairly at such a crucial time. Not everyone can take so we try the best we can." He sighed.

We made it through the front doors of the building to find two men behind the reception desk. "Hey guys, put down one more survivor. Kid if you answer a few of the questions that would be great." Max smiled and gestured to the two men behind the desk. I nodded and walked over to them. 

"Hey I'm Jake, what's you're full name?" He asked, smiling reassuringly.

"Daniel James Howell, but Dan is fine." I mumbled.

"How old are you?"

"I'm 22." I said although this all seemed like irrelevant information now.

"Alright that's fine for now, we just like to record everyone we find in case we get a call from the big refuge cities. That way we can tell them names of survivors and get them looking for relatives or anyone you might know." He explained. I nodded - that made sense.

"Ok, come with me Dan." Max smiled and waved goodbye to Saskia and JJ. We came into a small side room. He opened a locker and gave me the key. "If you put personal belongings and weapons in here then that would be great. Keep anything you want to keep with you other than weapons when around everyone else. We don't want to risk anyone going insane and hurting someone else so when you come to collect things we make sure you don't take any weapons into the lounge area. Don't worry - there are people to defend others if infection happens inside the compound and we let you come and collect them in case of an emergency. Also if you become part of the raid teams you will be allowed use of our other weapons and in return, you help get essentials and help other people."

I smiled, taking the key. The place sounded well-organised and I felt safe once again. I stuffed my backpack into the locker as well as my gun, knives and pipe. All I had left was the clothes on my back. I locked my locker then followed Max down another corridor. 

"You'll be allowed one shower a week - the same as everyone else. We need to conserve as much water as possible. We have clothes that we wash once a week as well. Raiding parties 13 and 14 are in charge of finding clothes in houses for people to wear instead of constantly wearing one set. When going out on raids - if you choose to join in, you will get special protecting clothes but you only get one set of clothes a week and two pairs of pants. It's not a five-star hotel but it's the best we can do. Of course you are welcome to keep all your own belongings but sharing is appreciated. We have two meals a day at one o'clock and seven o'clock. There are plenty of rooms plus cells to sleep in but most prefer to either sleep in the canteen or activity rooms. Dirty cells we only use for temporary punishment and we haven't used them for weeks so don't get too worried. Feel free to talk to others, we have recovered books and entertainment but we don't allow electrical devices if it requires using the plugs in the building. We need all the electricity we can to keep everyone warm and have light. Sorry but the showers are cold." Max chuckled.

I smiled - this sounded better than nothing. We emerged into a large room where groups of people were huddled up in sleeping bags or sat at tables having a laugh. A man in the corner was playing a guitar and singing with kids and almost a quarter of the room whilst others listened in and smiled. I smiled to myself - it wasn't much but it was refuge. 

"DAN?" I suddenly heard someone shout and my eyes flew open in shock. I whipped round to locate the source and I gaped in disbelief when I saw familiar blue eyes staring back at me. 

"PHIL!" I exclaimed and sprinted towards him. Once I reached him and I threw my arms around him, holding on for dear life. I felt the tears escape my eyes as I hugged my best friend close. "I thought I lost you!" I choked, clutching his shirt between my fingers and sobbing into his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay." I heard his soothing voice coo and then his hand was stroking my hair as he hugged me back just as tight. I had never been so happy to see someone before. 

"I'll leave you to it. Phil you can answer any more of his questions right?" Max asked.

"Yeah." He agreed but I didn't say a word, only hugged him tighter because I had Phil back after thinking he was lost for so long. 

~Phil~

"HURRY!" Dan yelled desperately, approaching the track. The train was fast approaching.

"We're not going to make it!" I thought as the train was only seconds away. Desperately, I tried to catch up but my breath hitched in fear when I saw Dan and Alys leap over the track and to the other side. I went to follow them but suddenly my vision was blocked.

I skidded to a halt as the train was now passing in front of me. I breathed heavily and stared at the passing carriages in disbelief. "I didn't make it." I thought in terror and turned back to see the corpses gaining on me.

"PHIL!" I heard someone shriek over the noise of the train.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I turned back to the zombies who were seconds away from tearing my flesh apart - I needed think quickly. I swallowed and glancing at the train carriages I spotted a handle coming my way which obviously led into one of them. I gulped and as soon as it reached me, I grabbed it and kicked the zombie that had just reached me. I yelped as my arms burned with the strain of holding onto a fast moving train. 

I banged on the door of the carriage, hoping it would open up but it didn't budge. "OH COME ON!" I growled out and then suddenly it was open and hands were grabbing at me. I screamed as I was dragged into the carriage and struggled to get out of their grip.

"HEY! CALM DOWN YOU NUTTER!" A man growled beneath me. My eyes shot open in surprise - it wasn't zombies. I looked up to see a woman close the carriage door shut. I got to my feet and off the man who I had fallen onto and breathed out a shaky breath. 

"Wh-who are you?" I asked shakily, not knowing if I could trust anyone any more. 

"My name's Max." The man on the floor sighed and got to his feet. "These three are Mark, Jenna and Saskia. We're a raid party from two cities away and have been looking for survivors and I guess we were lucky. There another guy called JJ who we recovered today, he's asleep behind those boxes so try to keep your voice down." Max warned and I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. They seemed friendly. Suddenly I remembered Dan and Alys and felt panic rise in me - I was on my way to safety and they were left behind.

"WAIT! We have to go back for my friends! They're back there." I frantically said, begging them with my eyes. 

The woman next to the door's eyes went wider, "We can't go back now. There's no second rides on this train. It goes back and forth only once a day. There's no way we're walking hundreds of miles just to collect some others." She snapped.

"Saskia calm down. Look kid, she's right about the no going back thing. It's too dangerous to stay in this area overnight. We're coming back tomorrow though - we can look out for them then." Max assured but I wasn't having it.

"You just said so yourself - it's not safe to stay the night in this area. They could DIE! I thought you were supposed to be HELPING survivors." I exclaimed angrily. 

Max sighed sadly, "It's too risky, sorry. We can't just throw people's lives away - sure but we just have to be confident that they'll make it through the night. We'll come back tomorrow and look for them, okay?"

"No! Not okay, those two are the only people I have left!" I pleaded, feeling tears reach my eyes.

"So have faith in them, we'll get them as soon as we can but right now is not an option. Look, we're taking you back to base where it's safe. We'll bring them there tomorrow if we can find them, we'll be scouting this area for the next week anyway." He urged.

"I can't just leave them." I whimpered and slumped against the wall.

"We WILL get them." Max reassured, "What's your name?"

"Phil." I muttered, sliding down.

"You'll be safe soon, have some faith." Max smiled.

~2 weeks Later~

I glanced gloomily up at the entrance to the canteen hall. I had pretty much given up hope of Max and the other teams finding Dan and Alys. They've checked the surrounding cities but couldn't find them at all. I watched Max gave me a pitying look before walking over to me.

"I'm sorry Phil. There's no one who responded - they could have moved on or they're just really good at hiding - you never know." He tried to reassure me.

"Or they're dead." I spat through gritted teeth.

"We don't know that ... hey Phil ... we have a spot open on the survivor-recovery teams. There's three teams - team 10, 11 and 12. I'm team 12 with Saskia and Mark. Team 11 has an opening with Jenna, Oskar and Peter. They're always looking for recruits and they usually scope the cities where we found you in. Maybe there'd be a better chance of finding them if you suited up and helped out? Of course you don't have to-"

"Yeah." I nodded. It was a good idea - besides I felt useless back at base. It's good to put myself to use and there was a chance I could find Dan at the same time. It sounded like a good plan to me. 

"You're sure? It was just a suggestion I'm not forcing you or anything." He added quickly.

I smiled up at him. "You've done a lot for me Max, thank you. I think it's time I gave something back, I'll be fine." I stated firmly. Yeah I was scared about facing the zombies again but I was even more scared of never finding Dan again or seeing his face so my mind was made up. 

"Ok then. We'll get you suited up tomorrow, save your energy in case you have to run at one point. Keep your wits about you and you'll do fine." Max smiled, patting my shoulder.

"Thanks."

~6 Months Later~

I blew out a breath as the gates closed with a squeak. My team and I were only checking up on the base's defences and checking everything was in top shape against enemies. There's a few cracks in the wall and some of the barbed wire on top has come off in harsh storms so we're going to need our repairmen on that as soon as possible.

I turned to my team mates. We weren't going survivor hunting for another few days so we had some free time. "God I wish alcohol was still available." Jenna huffed, rubbing her forehead. 

I chuckled and shook my head, "Maybe you should nab some on our next raid." I suggested.

"They check us every time we enter the building, no way will you be able to smuggle some in." Peter smirked. 

"I could at least try. Maybe I could bribe Max and some of the guys in the front. All us adults will have some when all the kidders are asleep." Jenna sighed, probably thinking her scheme through in her head.

"You heard her Phil, no alcohol for you then." Peter smirked. 

"I'm twenty seven, shut up." I grinned back.

"Yeah but you act like a twelve year old when we're not out on the field." Our newest member - Alix spoke up, smirk on her face. 

"So, that's just my personality." I grinned.

"Why we voted you captain I'll never know." Jenna grinned.

"Hey that's your fault not mine." I laughed and pushed the front doors open, nodding towards the two guys behind the desk - Jake and Niall. 

"Alright, any problems guys?" Jake asked, taking out his clipboard for our defences.

"Jenna, you can fill him in. I'm going to take a shower." I smirked and she narrowed her eyes at me. 

"Sure, leave me with all the paperwork." She grumbled and I chuckled, stuffing all my weapons and protective clothes in my locker before heading to the showers. I didn't take long - wanting to reserve as much water as possible. As I grabbed my towel I let out a sigh. My mind drifted to Dan, even though I had stopped physically showing it, I was still upset about never finding him and I'd been left to believe that he was gone. Dead. 

I let out a shaky sigh and my eyes began to water, even after trying to find him and Alys myself, they were no where to be seen. I loved Dan and he was my best friend - the person I was closest too so naturally I had a large whole in my heart where Dan had been. I missed his sense of humour and his all-around presence. I missed his gorgeous eyes and dimples and I missed being by his side. There were times when I wished I had jumped off the train and gone back for him even if it killed me, but I was happy to be alive and surrounded with cool people and surviving.

I quickly wiped my eyes and pulled on my second set of clothes - ones I wore for lounging around. I changed, not bothering to dry my hair, then joined the others in my team in the lounge room. "Where's Max?" I asked, looking around the room. 

"He went off with Team 12 this morning to check the surrounding city for any newcomers. He wanted to double check from yesterday because there had been weird messages coming in on his radio for days. None of them were audible but he's determined to find out who." Alix explained, filing her nails down - something she had recovered during one of our raids.

"Oh, sounds interesting. Have Jake or Niall heard any news from the refuge cities?" I asked, wondering when we'd get through.

"Not yet." Peter sighed, leaning back against the wall. 

"Oh great, Nathan found a guitar. Let's hope he doesn't kill our ears." Jenna sighed in annoyance.

"Give it to Josh, he knows how to play." I shrugged. "Maybe get the kids involved.

"You and those kids. They're your first priority around here." Alix grinned, looking at me fondly.

"Of course, it's got to be hard for them growing up into this." I mumbled, looking down at my hands.

"It's okay Phil, we get it." Peter grinned, nudging my knee with his foot. I smiled back and turned to the group of kids playing around. The youngest was five years old and her name was Sammy - also one of my favourites. She was adorable and seemed to like me as well as some of the other kids. I felt a sadness wash over me thinking about how much Dan loved kids and how he'd probably make them all laugh and squeal with delight in his presence.

Soon dinner came and it was quickly digested - every single person emptied their plates, not leaving a scrap of it. After the meal I settled down again and watched as Josh took the guitar from Nathan and started to play music for the younger ones. I grinned when he started singing and getting the surrounding people involved. Moments like these make me happy to be alive. 

He was on his fifth song when Saskia and JJ walked in the room. I smiled and waved them over. "Hey guys, you back already?" I questioned.

"We found one, he was running through the streets with a bloody hoard on his back. Stupid fucker should know he can't move around at night." Saskia laughed and laid her head on Peter's shoulder. They had grown close and eventually started going out. Even though it was cute, a lot of people didn't see the point in relationships when there was a high possibility of being killed - especially if you were in the raid teams.

"Did you catch his name?" Jenna asked curiously.

"Nah, JJ and I left Max to deal with him. No way am I babysitting - I already have to keep JJ in line." Saskia grinned.

"Shut up!" JJ stuck his tongue out - he was the youngest out of all of us. There was a small comfortable silence before Saskia released a small sigh.

"What's wrong?" I asked, frowning.

"It's just ... when we found the guy, he was ready to shoot himself ... he had his finger on the trigger and everything. If we hadn't got there in time he'd be dead." He squirmed uncomfortably. 

"It's fine, I'm sure he'll feel better once he's settled in." Peter smiled, patting her thigh then wrapping his arms around her. 

I was about to change the subject when Saskia looked towards the entrance. "There's the poor bugger now." She sighed, nodding behind me. I turned round and saw Max walk through, his lips moving - obviously explaining things to the new guy. My eyes fell on him before my jaw dropped open in disbelief and my heart jolted. 

Standing in the doorway was none other than my Dan. He was almost the same as before only his hair was messed up, he had dark circles under his eyes and he was skinnier and paler than usual. I jumped to my feet immediately, my eyes wide.

"Phil you okay?" Jenna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"DAN!" I yelled, feeling tears reach my eyes.

"Holy fuck." I heard Saskia whisper under breath.

"No fucking way." Jenna mumbled.

Dan's warm chocolate eyes met with mine across the room and a happy grin spread across his face. "PHIL!" He yelled and ran towards me. I met him half way and hugged the boy close. I let out a shaky breath when I felt the his warm body in my arms again. "I thought I lost you!" He choked and I smiled as he started to cry into my chest. I leaned my chin on his head and felt unbelievably happy. 

"Hey, it's okay." I reassured softly, stroking his hair and gripping him tighter.

"I'll leave you to it. Phil, you can answer any more of his questions right?" Max asked, smiling happily at me. I grinned back him, mouthing a 'thank you' as tears threatened to fall. He had finally found my Dan - just like he promised.

"Yeah." I agreed. Dan remained silent - full on hugging me for the longest time. I wasn't complaining. I had my best friend back. 

"I'm so sorry." Dan suddenly apologised and my eyes widened. 

"What are you apologising for?" I frowned and pulled back, cupping his face.

"I just left you ... and the train- I mean ... I thought-" He choked on a sob again and I shook my head, wiping his tears away.

"That wasn't your fault, I was just too slow." I sighed sadly, pulling him in for another hug.

"Awe." I heard someone coo and I turned my head, smiling happily at my new friends. They all gave me a smile and a thumbs up and I swear I'd never been so happy. 

"Come on, we have a lot of catching up to do." I chuckled and Dan pulled away with a slight blush and he grinned back at me - a sparkle in his eyes. It made me sad to think it wasn't there a second ago. I pulled him off to a quiet corner where my friends wouldn't bombard us with questions. "So ..." I smiled, still holding Dan's hand in mine as we sat down. "I'm just comforting him." I tried to tell myself but honestly I really enjoyed feeling his hand in mine - the crush hadn't weakened at all and now that I saw his gorgeous face again, it hit me full force. 

"How did you get away?" Dan blurted out, still looking guilty.

"I grabbed onto the train. Turns out inside the carriage I was hanging onto was these guys." I gestured towards my team. "Max found me as well. They took me back here and I've been here ever since." I explained, not taking my eyes off his face - wanting to memorise every detail.

"Wow ... I wanted to stay and come back for you but it was getting dark and we had to keep moving and if I had just stayed maybe we'd have met up sooner-"

"Dan, if you stayed you probably would've been killed. I pretty much threw a tantrum when they refused to go back for you but that was just because it was a one-way transport and they had a long way to go." I sighed. 

"Right ..." Dan sighed, his brow furrowed. Suddenly I remembered something- rather someone. I looked around the room and towards Max but there was no Alys - Saskia didn't mention anyone else. 

"Where's Alys?" I asked in confusion. I immediately regretted it when Dan flinched and looked down at the floor with misery. I swallowed, knowing what that look meant. I had seen it many times when we lost people or survivors talked about their past or journey. "Sorry, I should have known-"

"No, it's fine. She got bit. End of story." Dan let out a shaky breath and lifted his head up, leaning it back against the wall with a defeated look.

"I'm sorry to hear that." I muttered, even though I never really liked her, Dan did - a lot. I squeezed his hand as some form of comfort. It only got me a squeeze back but I smiled none-the-less. Dan drew in a breath before turning back to me. 

"So what have you been up to?" Dan asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Oh um, not much. There's not really anything to do when resources are low so I joined the raiding teams. I joined Team 11 with Jenna, Peter and Alix-"

"Wait, you joined a raiding party?" Dan asked, eyes wide in surprise.

"Yeah." I frowned.

"But Phil ... it's dangerous - you could get killed!" Dan exclaimed. He pushed a little off the wall and turned to to look at me with concern in his eyes.

I nodded. "Yeah I know but we're pretty careful. We've helped so many people. My team mates even made me their captain." I smiled, trying to show the upsides.

"CAPTAIN?" Dan exclaimed in shock.

"Yeah." I replied, confused with Dan's reaction.

"But you could DIE! What if I lose you for good!" Dan panicked.

"I'm fine Dan really-"

"But you can't promise that! What if-"

"Dan." I said sternly, gaining his attention. "What else do you expect me to do? I'm helping people and I'm doing something to occupy my time as well. If you have a problem with that, then get over it. I won't die." I stated firmly. I was slightly angry at his lack of faith in me and if he had asked me to quite I would probably have gotten angrier. 

Dan didn't say anything, just frowned and turned away from me. We didn't say anything for a moment until Dan pulled his hand from mine. "You've changed." He whispered.

I frowned. "What? No I haven't." I protested.

"Yes you have." Dan's frown deepened. "I don't know - you're just different. You're more serious and not your bubbly self. Not to mention joining something you would've been terrified of doing before we got split up." He explained, not looking me in the eye.

"Does that matter?" I asked, feeling angrier at his accusations.

Dan looked at me for a brief second before sighing and running a hand through his hair. "No." He said bluntly before getting to his feet. I frowned, where was he going? "I'll um- I'll catch you later." He muttered before walking off.

"Dan?" I called, standing up but not following him. He looked at me with a blank expression before walking out the room. "What just happened? I haven't changed ... I'm still Phil, right?" I thought in confusion. I walked over to my friends, taking a seat with my brow still furrowed.

"Where'd your friend go?" Saskia grinned.

I shrugged, "I don't know." 

"Is everything okay?" Jenna asked, raising an eyebrow. 

I was about to say 'yes' but held my tongue. Was everything okay? Dan seemed uncomfortable with me which made my heart start to pound - I never wanted him to be uncomfortable with me. "Um ... have I um ... have I changed since I first got here?" I asked, testing the waters.

"Oh yeah." Saskia smirked.

I frowned, "How so?"

"Well - you're a great deal more confident. You used to be such a wuss but now the thought of fighting zombies doesn't rattle you up too much. All in all you're a lot tougher." She listed.

"I was joking about you acting like a 12 year old but actually you haven't done that in around a week." Alix shrugged, filing her nails again.

"Really?" I frowned, had I really changed that much.

"It's not a bad thing." Peter jumped in.

"Apparently it is to Dan." I thought sadly.

"It makes the whole situation easier actually." Peter smiled and turned to Alix, kissing her cheek.

"Right." I bit my lip, looking at the exit. I contemplated going after Dan but I didn't know what to say - I'd talk to him next time I saw him.

~Dan~

I sat in the laundry room - no one was around so I decided to hide in there by myself. I didn't know what to expect when I saw Phil again but ... he just seemed different and the thought of that scared me. Had they turned him into a different person? 

He was captain of a raid party and he seemed less happy than usual. At least when we were together he'd still smile at me and tell me everything was going to be fine and tell Alys and I stories and make us laugh. I swallowed the lump in my throat and bit back tears. 

I knew I was being somewhat selfish in wanting things back to normal but the thought of Phil being a stranger scared the hell out of me after everything we have been through. I couldn't stop the little whimper that left my lips before curling into myself and trying to contain the sobs that threatened to escape. 

What happened to bubbly sensitive Phil who was all about fluffy kittens and lions? The way he had spoken to me and got defensive of his position set off alarm bells in my head. I knew he was helping people but he seemed angry at me and Phil was never angry at me. I couldn't help let one choked sob escape and gritted my teeth.

"Hello." A small voice announced and my head whipped up to the door. I saw the bright blue eyes of a small girl looking up at me. 

"Um, hi." I croaked, wiping my eyes and trying not to scare her.

"Are you sad?" She asked, eyes round and innocent. She had long blond hair and her small hand was clutching a small purple teddy-bear to her chest. I didn't know what to say - she looked like a symbol of innocence in all this chaos. I wanted to protect her from everything evil in the world.

"Um." I mumbled, scratching the back of my neck.

"Why you sad?" She cocked her head to the side.

I smiled, "I'm not sad any more." I reassured and waved her over. She padded over and sat down beside me. "What's your name?" I asked, happy for the momentary distraction - I had always loved kids.

"Sammy." She smiled and handed her purple teddy to me. "This is Mimi." She grinned.

"Nice to meet you Sammy, nice to meet to Mimi." I smiled, shaking the bears hand. Sammy let out a giggle and beamed up at me with a smile so bright it made me forget the dire situation everyone was in. 

"Mimi can't do stuff like us silly." She squealed.

"Oh really?" I grinned, not being able to stop myself since her happiness was contagious.

"Yeah."

"Where are your parents?" I asked, hoping the worst hadn't happened.

"Daddy went away with some people. Mummy is talking with other people in the sleepy room." Sammy explained. Dan assumed the sleepy room was the lounge room/canteen he had been in prior. 

"Ok - well come on then. Let's get you back to Mummy. I'm sure she's freaking out about you missing." I smiled, standing up and pulling her to her feet. 

"You very tall." She had to tilt her head back to look at my face. I chuckled and nodded. "Are you part giraffe?" She asked, frowning cutely. I let out a loud laugh at that. 

"Yes." I beamed. picking her up and carrying her out the laundry room. "My mum was a giraffe." I explained.

"Really?" She asked with a fascinated stare.

"Yeah." I chuckled and we slowly but surely made it back to the lounge room. I walked over to where the other kids were playing. "Can you spot Mummy?" I asked. Sammy nodded and I put her back on the ground. Sammy chuckled, hugging my leg before trotting away towards a woman who look like she was in her mid-forties. 

I smiled fondly. "I knew you'd get attached to the kids." I heard Phil say from behind me. I let out a shaky sigh, Sammy had managed to take my mind off him for a second but all thoughts were rushing back now. 

"Uh yeah." I answered awkwardly, turning to face him with an anxious expression. There was a moment of silence and Phil's eyes darted around awkwardly whilst he bit his lip. For some reason a jolt when through my stomach as my eyes watched his lip between his teeth. I frowned.

Phil's sigh snapped me out of it and I looked up at his eyes. "Dan ... I'm sorry." 

"For what?" I raised an eyebrow, I didn't expect him to apologise.

"For getting angry. You're right - I have changed and I guess I didn't realise until you pointed it out but ... I never want you to be uncomfortable with me." His voice grew quieter and I felt my defence crumble as another jolt hit me and my heart beat accelerated. This was more like him - apologetic, shy Phil. I smiled a little.

"It's okay." I replied, looking at my feet with a small smile. 

Phil looked me with his own smile before he walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me. I was surprised but his arms felt warm, secure and familiar around me - so maybe he hasn't changed too much. "I've missed you so much." He suddenly blurted and I blushed into his shoulder, hugging him tighter.

"I missed you too." I smiled, tucking my nose in the crook of his neck. "And ... I'm sorry too. I was just scared about losing you." I apologised.

"I know, it's fine. I don't want you to hate, you're the only person I have left from before everything went crazy and there's no way I'd just let you go. If you want me to quite the raiding party just say so and I'll do it." Phil said.

I closed my eyes, shaking my head. I didn't want to stop him helping people, I felt guilty that he'd give it up just for me. "Phil no. If you're a captain you need to be there for your team - I get it. I was just scared. You shouldn't be sacrificing these things for someone like me." I muttered, feeling sadness creep into me.

Phil pulled away from our embrace with a frown but still held onto my arms. "What do you mean someone like you?"

"I mean someone so insignificant. I'm nothing special-"

"Stop right there Daniel James Howell." He smiled and shook his head and for some reason I shivered at hearing my full name fall from his lips. I didn't understand it but the sensation was pleasant so I didn't question it too much. "You are the most important person to me ever and it's been that way for years. I don't care what other people think of you and I don't want you to degrade yourself. You don't give yourself enough credit. You're amazing Dan." Phil said firmly but smiled warmly at me. 

I felt tears reach my eyes because - this was Phil. My Phil. I swallowed, not being able to stop the smile that crept onto my face. In response I pulled him back in for a hug. I really missed Phil Lester. After a few minutes hugging we parted, both smiling.

"So um ... do you want to meet some of my friends?" Phil asked timidly, biting his lip again. 

"Sure." I smiled and felt my heart beat thump when he took my hand. Something was happening to me but I didn't know what. My heart always sped up when Phil touched me and these little jolts in my stomach were confusing me. 

~

Meeting Phil's friends and team mates was actually okay - they were nice people and I had already met some from the journey there like Saskia and JJ. Since JJ and were similar in age we seemed to get along more than most. Finally though, it was announced that people should start heading to bed since the kids had drifted off.

"Do you know where you're sleeping?" Phil asked me as the others dispersed. 

"No." I replied awkwardly.

"Come with me." Phil smiled and grabbed me hand and where our skin touched tingled. I bit my lip - what was happening. He pulled me downstairs until we entered a hallway full of cells. I gulped - not liking the idea of sleeping in one - some had already fallen asleep in them. However he pulled me into a side room. I frowned when he pushed through another door and into a small room with a double bed. 

"There are a few of these rooms throughout the prison. If the guards were doing night shifts they had rooms for when they swapped in." Phil explained. "Being one of the Captains, I got the privilege of sleeping in here. Sometimes I sleep with the others if some of the team members have had a hard time out in the field and need a good nights rest so it's completely mine. Only half the time." He shrugged.

"Well, it certainly looks comfy." I smiled and watched as Phil kicked his shoes off and took his shirt off. I swallowed suddenly blushing - I turned my back on him feeling flustered for some reason. I had seen him hundreds of times before so why was I so shy now? I tried to push the feeling down and started taking off my own clothes. 

Once I was just in my boxers I turned to look at Phil was already in the bed and looking at me expectantly. He patted one side of the bed and I smiled before climbing in next to him. I felt his arm wrap around my waist and pull me into his body. I let out a shaky breath - we used to share the bed when we were younger so it had been a while but for some reason it made me nervous. Not in a bad way - it felt nice, I didn't know why I was anxious. 

I decided to just forget about it and snuggled into him, soaking in his body heat. "Goodnight Dan." Phil whispered and I shivered since it was so close to my ear.

"Night Phil." I mumbled sleepily and fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

~Phil~

I blinked my eyes open, waking up from my sleep. I yawned and went to move but found my arm was restricted. I frowned and turned to look only to gasp in surprise. Dan was sound asleep , cuddled close to me with my arms wrapped around him. I swallowed and took in his peaceful face.

He looked beautiful. I really missed him and I was so glad to have him here with me. I bit my lip as my gaze trailed to his parted pink lips. I wanted to kiss him so badly. I've wanted to forever but I knew it wasn't the right time. Everything was in the shit considering the world was infested with zombies and we were all forced to hide and survive off what we can. Romantic relationships were impractical and would only end in heart break.

However, I still ached for Dan to be mine. I've loved him since I first laid eyes on him through Skype and couldn't get his cute face out of my minds for months. I smiled at the thought and closed my eyes, enjoying the moment of having Dan wrapped up in my arms as he lightly breathed on my neck. I shivered a little but smiled. 

Around ten minutes later I felt him stir and I opened my eyes to find warm chocolate ones staring right back at me. I saw his cheeks turn pink and it honestly the cutest thing I had seen for months. "U-um, hi." He stuttered, avoiding my gaze. I chuckled.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." I smirked and kissed his nose before unlatching my arms from around him. I nearly laughed at the stunned expression on Dan's face. I sat back against the headboard and let out a sigh. I had watched Dan get changed last night and I smirked at the thought of seeing his chest and legs. He was slightly skinnier than normal but he was still beautiful. 

Dan shuffled about until he was in the same position as me. I turned to look at him with a soft smile and he just smiled back, resting his head on my shoulder. I smiled - I liked clingy and cuddly Dan. "I'm so glad you're alive Phil. I never want to lose you again." He breathed. 

"Me too - when they didn't immediately find you I thought the worse. Until I saw you yesterday I thought you were gone for good." I sighed and wrapped and arm around his shoulders, holding him protectively to my side. 

"Love you Phil." Dan mumbled sleepily and my eyes widened and I blushed. I bit my lip to stop the smile - he probably didn't mean it romantically. 

"I love you too Dan." I tried to say without letting on to how I really felt. Suddenly Dan lifted his head off my shoulder. He frowned as he looked at my face and I felt scared in case he figured it out.

"You know Phil ..." Dan started looking sad for a second, "I miss Alys. She was a great girlfriend and I definitely loved her but ... getting over it seems surprisingly easy when I'm around you ... I don't know, I just feel happy when you're around." Dan explained and even though him mentioning Alys made me feel jealous - my heart swelled at the thought of Dan being happy around me. 

"Well you make me happy too Dan. You make everything tolerable." I smiled and Dan rested back against the head board but faced me with a concentrated look. He looked at me in the eye and seemed to search them for something.

"What are you looking for?" I whispered, not being able to stop the words leaving my lips. 

Dan seemed to swallow and he shrugged but didn't avert eye contact. We were very close and I was very aware of that but I didn't know if closing the distance was a good idea. It could go really well or really badly and make things awkward which I definitely did not want. 

However Dan seemed to have other ideas. "I'm going to try something." He whispered and I felt a shiver roll down my spine and excitement fill me at his words. Then his fingers held my chin and stroked along my jaw. I closed my eyes, enjoying the soft feeling of his fingers. When I opened them again Dan was very close to my face and I could feel his breath on my face. 

Again I couldn't stop the words that fell out my mouth. "Are you going to kiss me or just stare at my face?" I breathed. A glint flashed in Dan's eyes as his eyes dropped to my lips for a second and my breathing hitched. He was going to kiss me.

~Dan~

I had been staring his eyes and feeling my heart flutter and it made me wonder if I liked him. I had had a fan-boy crush on him in 2009 but I didn't expect those feelings to return many years later and at such an inconvenient time. I took a brave step - wanting to test my theory and held him close. 

"Are you going to kiss me or just stare at my face?" His warm breath brushed my lips and made that familiar jolt go through my stomach. My lips tingled and I felt the urge to kiss him - this was definitely attraction. I didn't care about anything else - just me and Phil. 

I felt my eyes droop before I closed the distance, finally pushing our lips together. They were surprisingly soft and my body was on fire. I felt his hand slide into my hair and I shivered as he massaged the back of my head. I started to move my lips with his and slipped my hands down from his jaw, to his neck then his collar bones whilst the other one slid down his side to his hip, gripping on tight.

I wanted and needed Phil and the urge was growing as our lips moved faster and Phil pulled me into him more. The tighter my grip on his hip - the more attracted and fired up I felt to Phil. I kissed him harder, pressing my backwards - I hadn't had intimate contact in weeks since Alys didn't see the point in lovey-dovey gestures any more and Phil's lips were a great cure. I couldn't get enough of him. I couldn't get enough of his taste, his smell, his warmth and the feeling of him against me. 

I should have done this ages ago - I could feel old feelings rise to the surface - why had I ignored them before when they felt so right? I wanted Phil as my best friend but I also wanted more - I wanted to call him mine and for him to call me his. I wanted to kiss his lips and be his boyfriend. 

Phil nipped at my lips and I moaned a little as his hand tugged at my hair at the same time. I forgot that this was our first kiss and felt the heat consume me. I nipped him back and slid my tongue against his lip desperately and when he opened his mouth I sucked his tongue as we went into full-out make out mode. Phil moaned into my mouth and it was sexy that I gripped him tighter. I was probably leaving a bruise on his hip but the kiss was so euphoric it distracted me from everything else other than Phil.

Eventually though, Phil pulled back from the kiss and we both panted. I looked up at Phil with heavy eyes and a new longing. "Shit." I breathed.

"That was amazing." He grinned, still breathing heavily.

"Can um ... can we ... you know. Will you be mine Phil - I know it's completely impractical but I want you whether it's as a best friend or my boyfriend - I want you by my side." I said sincerely.

Phil beamed at me, seeming so happy. He blushed, looking down before returning his gaze to my eyes. "Then I'm all yours."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~HelloAnonymousWriter~


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